Many of us are hearing this rather newly coined phrase “mental load” that surfaced very poignantly in a feminist comic in May of 2017 (see https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/ you-shouldve-asked/) entitled You Should Have Asked. It details a scenario wherein the mom is trying to feed toddlers, prep the house and meal for two guests, and all while the husband is somewhere in the background. He only appears when a mess has happened and as he sees his wife overwhelmed, he ex

As I counsel couples with young children, the most common denominator is a feeling of disconnect in marital closeness. Of course having children brings a sweet bond that can’t compare to anything else. At the same time, never has the relationship been as tested as it is alongside sleep deprivation, the potential of special needs, postpartum emotional adjustments, changes in libido and intimacy rhythms, financial new normals, and the thousand other changes that happen as you g

Identity can be a crisis when our lives are put through the blender of becoming parents. The season of pregnancy often brings feelings of anticipation, excitement, nervousness, and a nesting in preparation for a new baby. For some mommas, birth means a temporary pause in vocation. For others, it can bring an ending of a particular vocation or an uncertainty. Whatever the case, a new and entirely different vocation is beginning; that of becoming a parent. Whenever there is a n

“I'm SO frustrated!” That is what I screamed at the top of my lungs as I stood in my kitchen in yoga pants. No one else was home. The culprit: a dirty dish pile. My husband had agreed to do them the night before {Huzzah!!}, but fell asleep on the couch moments later. His work was in a stressful season and he had very little margin. It's so understandable to skip dishes isn't it? Well, not from where I stood the next morning. I'm ashamed to say that what followed the initial a